My Little Lap Buddy

I thought that November was gonna be a good month. I was up to like 5 total blog posts for the month, which is more than double or triple my normal amount of posts.  Thanksgiving happens in November, which means lots of good eats, just in case you weren't sure about which month Thanksgiving resides is or that there might be some good food around.  It also means that I'd have a few paid days off from work to spend at home. yay!

But last Friday made the whole month suck.  Blow chunks. Bite the big one. Just fucking awful.

I had to put Nigel to sleep.



So now I no longer have my photography interrupter.





Or my hilarious comparison tool.







Or my obliging baby knits model. 

 



Okay not always obliging, but definitely indulging.





Or my automatic, lap warming, snuggle buddy.





Or my blogging buddy.

I fucking hate this month.

More blame placing

I hand wound the largest ball of yarn I have ever wound before. It's a scrumptious plum color ecowool from CascadeYarns for an upcoming project (more on that later). After 45 minutes of continuous winding it got me thinking...


Just how big is this ball of yarn? Is it as big as my head? Let's find out.


Huge ball of yarn: 19.5 inches.


TURBOchic's head: 21.5 inches. Unfortunately, TURBOchic's head wins the size game.

Obviously, I had to get help with these shots from the only other creature with opposable thumbs in the house-my Hubby. And like any normal person on earth, when you give him a flexible tape measure he must find things to measure. He found Nigel's belly, which made me feel slightly better about the size of my head.



Nigel's Belly Swag: 22 and a quarter almost on the 'in' breath.

February in October?

Let's Review:
8-23-08 Doh! I managed to run out of yarn before finishing!

9-6-08 Yarn is ordered. Just waiting for it to come into my not-so-LYS store.

9-20-08 Yarn finally arrived for me to pick up.

10-11-08 Yes, it took two weeks to muster the strength to knit up two little sleeves.

Pattern: EZ's February Sweater (Knitter's Almanac)
Yarn: Louet Gems Opal (sport weight) in Pink Panther (MC) and Crabapple Blossom (CC)
Needles: US 4s
Mods: Design detail lifted from Kaphine on ravlery. This is why Ravelry is so awesome. I'd have never thought to do this on my own.

How about some silly photos? If you don't have a baby to model your fresh off the needles FO you gotta find a good substitute. Furry ones work just fine if you can get them to cooperate.


Nigel only lasted long enough for me to snap these two shots. I don't think pink is his color, perhaps if it was a cheery red to bring out his ginger coloring he might have proved more helpful.

Work it Baby. Work it.

Matt: It's too damn cold to take picture outside? Can't we just take them in here?
...
Turbochic: No.
...
Matt: You take pictures inside all the time.
...
Turbochic: Yes, of baby hats on top of the dryer at 10am, not of men in sweaters at 7:45 at night.
...


...
Turbochic: Well, who told you to wear flips flops in a cold snap?
...
Turbochic: Fine just one shot. Please.
...
Turbochic: Yes, It's very important. my blog readers have been deprived for the entire month of April. I've pnly blogged twice.
...
Turbochic: Shut up! I am not that pathetic.
...
Turbochic: Yea? Well it takes on to know one.

What does this mean for your? Nothing, but I-am-not-happy-outside-photos. My husband's just wasn't a Sears Catalog model mood. We can't all marry a HILF. (Well, obviously he's a HILF to me even after a crabby photo shoot.)



He was in a slightly better mood when I brought him back indoors (remembering to not pose him on the matching couch). The cats provide a great distraction to your wife clicking away while gently suggesting sitting positions. ("No, don't sit there like a robot. Look natural*.")


Doesn't he look so relaxed? Petting our cats is like therapy.


Pattern: Cobblestone in smallest size (39 1/2") to fit my chested hubby.

Yarn: Elann's Highland Perviuan Wool in Oregano.

Needles: Loving my knitpicks interchangeables size 7 and 8 with way too many cord lengths to pick from.

Mods: Length added to the body and sleeves. Maybe a little too much extra length in the sleeves, because The Hubby has to roll them back. The sleeves were also knit down a needle size, so that they didn't look quite so massive. I left off the last set of decreases in the neckline called for in the pattern to accommodate the Hubby's overly large head.

*Geek Humor: This cracks me up, because it reminds me of Han Solo telling Chewie to "fly casual." Listen to the clip and it will make much more sense.

The real reason I haven't blogged

Me and my shadow. Nigel is determined to be my constant companion. He's my very own personal 14 lb tumor. Surgery in may be in order.

Today I was lucky. Today, he didn't head straight for he favorite spot and I have to give him props for that. He is after all male and it's hard for him to deviate from his normal patterns. Today, Nigel sat here after his morning commune with me on the potty. (Heaven forbid that I lock him out.)
However, it did not take long for him to progress into his normal routine. Found here.


which dissolves into this if I get up.


Now imagine this while knitting with two cats vying for the same lap, but Maya really doesn't like Nigel and be within three feet of him.

Le Sigh. My life is difficult.

FOWIP

It's a WIP! It's a FO! No it's an FOWIP!*

Okay, okay, okay. Somedays the ability to write a clever title is just sucked right out of me. And other days your friends just use them before you. Hang in there with me. One day I will be able to come up with doozies like this. You have no idea how many tears I shed when I read that one the first time. It's still pretty damn funny. *dries eyes* Now, I'll be getting on with it.

You all remember this infant sock. With that handsome ginger model, how can you forget it?
Well check it out now! It found on a home a perfectly sized foot!

See, gauge is completely useless. If I had of actually bothered with gauge these would not have been perfect for Wee One, whose mother actually squeed when I brought them out to try on (I thought they might be too small). Apparently, La dyed her favorite colors ever and I just so happened to win them and knit them up into the perfect baby socks.

I also ended up giving Wee One and Mom this beauty, but forgot to take a picture of it. We were too busy laughing at the Wee One when we tried it on her with no shirt under it. Plunging necklines? Check. Midriff bare? Check. Three quarter length sleeves? Check. Enter Hoochie Wee One. The Wee One's father was appropriately shocked over me calling his first born a Hoochie, but Wee One's Mother was bent over from laughter, so I think it's okay.


Wee One also got the Jellybean Hat which will take a little while to grow into, but was equally appreciated. As Wee One's Mom admired it she said, and I quote, "See [Wee One's Father], I so need to learn how to do this! Think of all the money I'd save."


At which the Hubby and I promptly snorted, but I offered to teach her anyway by bribing Wee One's Father that if Wee One's Mom was knitting, he'd get more computer time. The Hubby helped by nodding his head in a big way. I think I may have swayed Wee One's Father.

Best of all the Hubby held his first baby EVER!


*FOWIP, because the FO is on a WIP. Get it it? Maybe not....

Psychology 101

You know the ole' story about college freshman taking their first psychology course? The one that goes on to say that the students start diagnosing everyone one with a mental illness, because they've read about it? (By the way, I did not do that and I was a psych minor.) I believe the same moral applies to reading Ravelry threads about aching hands, arms, shoulders, backs, etc from knitting too long.

Don't get me wrong, Ravelry is a great motivator for those of just who have multiple UFO lurking the corners especially if you refuse to post a picture of any project until it's completed. Not me of course, I only have two. But back to the psych 101 student/Ravelry thread readers...

Wednesday I read this thread, because occasionally I might be a tad overzealous to the point that the back of my left hand feels like I have lit it on fire with a blow torch. You know it might be good to have some first aid remedies on hand in a situation like that. Case in point: Thursday, I decided to finish the back of the Hubby's Weasley Sweater and start on one of the sleeves. (aside: I am so there on sleeve island and about ready to poke my eyes out with my needles. Not my good Addi ones though, just my crappier Boye pairs.) Followed by another day of ripping out hours worth of mistakes and trying reknit an entire PoPosaurus Rex in one day. After which my arms might willingly detach themselves from my body at the shoulders just to avoid a third day of delirious knitting fever (which will so happen tomorrow PoPo so needs to wear her PoPosaurus Rex sweater to visit her cousin Rogue, the English setter).

Today, I actually knitted through the left-hand-pain and knit straight on to the I-had to-take-a-hot-bath-to-soak-my-shoulders-pain. The thing is I have never had shoulder pain (from knitting) before in my life. I didn't know you should stretch before you knit. Or that one must build up to hours of knitting, like a marathon runner builds up to hours of running. Personally, I think it's the thread talking. I think my shoulders just heard that they could "get sore" from knitting and decided to use it to their advantage. Heh, heh, heh. They thought, We'll pretend to get sore from knitting today, because the legs really screwed us over yesterday with that face plant while walking. She didn't even finish the first lap! We'll show them. And no, I'm still bruised from the face plant, so I won't tell you about it until later.

Tonight, because I can't knit, I had to take a hundred horrible pictures of my cats. PoPo wasn't cooperating. (I got her out from underneath her blankie before 9 am to potty and that just wasn't cool. She was so sleepy she walked out to her "area" to go #1 and #2, circled a few times, forgot to go and walked back up the steps to go inside.) So here goes:

Bad cat pictures: Maya way too up close.

Bad cat pictures: Maya in this photo could be funny if I could come up with a good lolcat.
Bad cat pictures: Slugboy featuring Nigel, the indeterminable lump.
Bad cat pictures: My best attempt to show Nigel as something other than Slugboy.

Bad cat pictures: Maya The Bag Licker. If you scroll really fast these next pictures make a flip book.

VPN, SAFF, A$$: they're not all acyronms

VPN: My hubby and all his computer buddies use the term when they discuss remote desktopping their work computers from home or on the road. Truthfully, I have no idea what that term means, but I use it here, so that I sound all informed. "Remoting in" is a wonderful thing. It allows you to access another network (to which you already have a user name and password) and the computer connected to that network, while you are not sitting directly in front of it. I had been doing this at home, so I could sit in bed but still access my "remote" (as in less than fifty feet away) computer in the guest bedroom. However, for the past 4 months the guest bedroom has had a permanent resident and last month one of our wireless routers quit working on my remote computer. Ut-oh.

"But Jen, what does it all mean?" you ask.

It means my friends that you are about to get unedited, crappy pictures, because I can't crop, sharpen, dim, brighten, compress, or make any changes at all to my photos. When in doubt-quantity over quality, my friends. Welcome to blogging on the edge.

Progress on the SAFF Cardigan (which has apparently become the name for this poor garment) : The back is completed without the help of any sort of gauge. Bah! The armhole decreases where rather easy, but their severity worries me. It's just six decreases stacked one right on top of another without even a row between them. It's what the pattern says to so I am blindly following it and worrying. On flip side, the shoulder has some shaping, so hopefully I won't look like a football player. Not looking like a football player makes me happy. Also, I left the stitches on the neck to pick up for the collar on stitch holder. It didn't make a lot of sense to me for bind them off only to pick them back up again later. Behold!

Like you've never seen this before? Sick of it yet? Me too.


Maya helps with the photography shoot. She thinks everything looks better in calico. Personally, I wish she wouldn't keep sharing this opinion with me. The hair tickles my nose.

Nigel can't let Maya hog all the action and butts right in. Maya leaves immediately. To put it lightly, Maya pretty much loathes Nigel... and I thought she would like a companion when I was gone all those hours during college. My bad.
I think that I should submit this picture to La's A$$watch Wednesdays contest. It's not really a picture of Nigel's butt, but of all the things Nigel's butt touches. Kinda gross when you think about it.
And that concludes yet another thrilling installment of the SAFF cardigan (which I promise to wash before wearing it to SAFF).

Day of rest

Yesterday, I worked a 12 hour day. I was at work at 8:30 in the morning and didn't leave until 8:30 at night. Though, in all fairness I did get 15 whole minutes for lunch. I am paid by the hour (in peanuts for those who are wondering) and only part time; I'm not allowed to go over 30 hours a week. Can anyone say comp time? Which means today I get to goof off-although, because I am a dedicated worker *cough**cough*suckingup*cough* I did go to the staff forum today from 10 am to 11am.

What are my plans for the rest of the day?
1. Go to grocery store and get food. (Marshmallow creme scored!)
2. Eat said food while watching Heroes on NBC.com. (Sark! I LOVE you David Anders, but only when you play a bit of rogue.)
3. Eat and browse the blogs. Possibly figure out google reader. (Yes, I am a moron. It may take me a while.)
4. Continually shove Nigel out of my lap until the point where I want to drop kick him across the room. I love you fuzzbutt, but you are annoying the p!ss out of me right now.
5. Drink and seam up the 2nd booty to replace the pair I gave away to this doll.
6. Knit on another swiffer pad and have a snack.
7. Munch on some food while working on my cardigan and pondering if I should set a SAFF deadline for myself? (One insane knitting deadline by the end of October knit out of super bulky weight yarn on size 10.5 needles? Check.)


8. Post pictures of a secret project that I have been knitting on here and there just to get you guys to delurk and take a stab at guessing what it might be.

Okay, s0 this might be almost too easy...

9. Cook one of my favorite dinners also known as Baked Potato Night. Hello sour cream and bacon!
10. And finally round off the evening with some seriously load chocolate brownies and Hugh Laurie, who revealed to tv guide this week that he's not pregnant. Thank Goodness for that one!

Any questions?

Cat in socks

A day late and a dollar short. I just thought of the best title for yesterdays post-'The Cat in the Hat,' which of course means that I've got nothing in up my sleeve for titles today. Good thinkg I have more happy pet pictures for you instead.

Better than Booties baby socks in cable rib from interweaveknits free patterns page. These cutey-pootooty socks match this weeks hat. I love the way the cables make the yarn all jumbly and the st st smooths it all out into a more relaxed knit.

You should recognize this by now familiar yarn on yet another unhappy cat. It was a fight to get that sock on that kitty paw and hold it there.


But totally worth it, no?

Rated R: for graphic violence and language

The socks got the better of me last night. I kept knitting round after round, but never seemed to get any closer to turning the heel, so I decided to put the sock away for now *gasp* I know it shocked me too. I thought I would be wearing those socks tonight.

Instead, I turned to another batch of yarn ordered from Knitpicks. (Ignore for now that I am desiring a quick bulky knit jacket that looks like it came from a 1980's free Red Heart pattern booklet.)

6 skeins of Spinnaker (cotton) and 2 skeins of dye-able Bare (sock yarn).

It took Knitpicks over a week (eight days) to get here for the fourth time. Being as it was cheap yarn (well not really, I had to order almost $50 worth to get free craptaular shipping), I was understanding of the delay. Not happy about it mind you, actually I was quite peeved, but still understanding. I became a little more than peeved--f#cking pissed off actually, when I tried to unwind the skein onto a ball winder this happened:

The 30 minute hissy fit that occurred as I literally pitched this tangle of crap across the kitchen and the stream of obscenities that left my lips, including but not limited to piece of sh!t, smelly muppet pelts, sorry @ssholes, b@st@rds, and my personal favorite F#cktards. It took me two very stiff drinks (and by drinks I mean half a glass of triple sec and the other half OJ) and a three hour nap to relax from the tangled mess that was a result of a badly twisted skein. Would you believe that I had to hand wind this into a ball just to use the freaking ball winder?! This my friends is unacceptable.

I have a small budget for yarn once a month (very small), so I look for yarn sales and discount stores. A $8.00 + tax skein of yarn for a pair of booties is within that budget, but 10 or more of those skeins for a sweater isn't realistic. There's just no way I can afford designer yarn for an item that covers my torso or has sleeves. That's not to say that I am unwilling to pay for quality yarn or good service. I love supporting my favorite etsy seller, who by the way can get a skein out to me as quickly as two days-if it's already dyed- and custom dyes me yarn at no additional cost. I just don't have a large income, ergo I don't have excessive amounts of money to chuck at my yarn habit. Allowing for that, if I was paid my hourly wage for the time I spent picking through that heap, I could have afforded to knit myself a dress in seasilk.

My knitterly rights have been violated and I am unwilling to stand for anymore. I think that I am a reasonable knitter. Cheap yarn is one thing, but repeatedly bad service is another. The slower than snail shit shipping each time, the knot I came across in one of the skeins (also not the first time), incorrect charges (not this time hallelujah) and the fact that my COTTON yarn smelled like alpaca ass (for the second time) are the equivalent or barbed wire shoved up my butt and pulled back out again. Sorry Knitpicks! You just lost yourself another customer. I am not even willing to complain and whine for my money back. I just want you out of my life.

I know that Shitpicks is ROTFL at any sap willing to buy their yarn.

Has anyone else been this dissatisfied Knitpicks or another yarn supplier? I live in a LYS void and am looking for a new online yarn shop, or a store that also sells online, preferably with reasonably priced selection. Does anyone know of a store that they'd like to recommend? I'd love to try them out. In fact, if I like the store you recommend, I'll love to return the favor and buy you a little sock yarn thank-you.***FYI: It'll be a while before I purchase yarn again, but you will get it.***

Pointy Toes

You have no idea how hard it is to capure Nigel feet on film. As he always sleeps like this:

Or is on your lap. For which I have no picture, because it's insanely hard to photograph you lap a) in flattering position, because not matter how skinny you are their is still spread and spread is always unattractive b) in focus or c) in any way resembling anything that is way it really is.

But here is my attempt anyway:













Below you can see there is some super pointy-ness going on at his right front paw, but it's all good. Those yummy pink pads are so soft you want to sqwish them. I pet them on a regular basis. Hey, he's always in my lap anyways!

Yarny Goodness

Guess what was sitting on the porch for me when I got home? Elizabeth's generous yarn offer! She told me she would mail this out yesterday it arrived today-from another state! I about died when opened it. It's 310 yards of a gorgeous wool dyed in a variegated more-pink-than-mauve color complete with note and her favorite generic sock pattern. The additional touch of coordinating ribbon and flower charm tied to the skein just kicked my completely into the "awww" factor. Thank you so much Elizabeth!

I am sooooo in love with the color I couldn't decide which picture to show y'all.

So here it is outside in the full sun:

And indoors with indirect lighting and the flash:

She even sent a present for the kitties. And no, there would not be any lawyers to eat in that box
(Disclaimer: No yarn was harmed in the following pictures!) It apparently this yarn just smells really fantastic. Besides the fact the I have now entered the twilight zone (because that's the only way these two get this close together), they both got on the bed I was using to watch me wind the yarn into a ball. At one point Maya might have accidentally walked between of Nigel's line of sight and the yarn "show," and he may have pitched a hissy fit about it. Really, he swatted her for coming between him and the yarn. I've never heard Nigel hiss, but I was really expecting him to at that moment.

PoPo , who is normally uninterested in yarn past the initial sniff, actually hung out right by my side the entire time I hand wound it into a ball to ensure that the yarn was properly treated. She also insisted on double checking my work. She requests that I ask Elizabeth if there is a boy doggy present at her house and if so is he available? Did y'all catch that? All three of my animals, plus myself were involved in the winding of this yarn into a ball in my spare bedroom next to the bed in about 3 square feet of space. It was intense.

Now all that's left is to knit up a pair of socks and tell y'all about it. I had picked out a couple of patterns I wanted to try and I think that Pomatomus will be perfect for showing off the wonderful dappled dye job. Note to self: must build up courage to actually knit with gifted yarn.