I don't even know where to begin with my anger, so let me tell you a little story first.
When I was in highschool I worked at a Vet's office. (Aside: I thought I was going to be a Vet, but UGA chemistry killed that dream. Thanks UGA!) There was a doctor there, by the name of Dr. Morgan. He was my idol. Period. He was a great Vet-he had wonderful bedside manner, he was fast, he knew what he was doing and he was great with the animals. Anyway, while assisting him one day, we were discussing what he got his wife for Valentine's Day. He told me he got her a potted flower. I was dissappointed to say the least. A potted flower? That's your romantic gesture? Flowers in dirt? I told him for Valentine's you always give CUT flowers. Things in pots you have to care for, and they need attention (see previous post). Potted flowers are just another way of saying "Here your domesticated; take care of something." Cut flowers are carefree, gorgeous and sometimes exotic. Dr. Morgan had the that look on his face. You know the one, where never in all his vast medical knowledge did the male part of his brain ever pick up on that possibility. And in a small concerned voice he said to me, "She likes potted plants." Yes, Dr. Morgan, but not for Valentine's day. My point with this story is that yes, he got her something she like, but he ASSUMED she needed nothing MORE. His knowledge/logic only gave him a partically correct answer.
Here is my dilemma. In the car on the way home from Wal-Mart I announced that I was hungry and promptly opened the BBQ Fritos. After the husband and I got back from the grocery store, I began to unload the groceries. This is something I always do, because M has no idea of where anything is. But as I was unpacking I asked him to make the Chili Homebakes for dinner. We had already eaten, but I figured the fish sticks he ate and the frozen dinner I ate, would wear off quickly and he would be asking for more food later. Plus, It's an easy meal we both love, involving opening two cans of chili, pouring them into the baking dish, and mixing the topping with water, to pour onto chili and bake.
That's when he said "No." My eyes about popped out of my head and I know my jaw hit the floor.
I said, "Well you have two choices. You can do me a favor and make dinner, while I put up the food, or you can put up the food and I'll make dinner."
He tried to weasel out of it with, "You like to put up the food. I'll do the dishes instead."
Okay Girls, I speak directly to you here. Did I ask him to do the dishes? No. In our less that 10' by 5' kitchen will he get in the way? Yes. Do the dishes need to be done before the frozen food goes in the freezer? No. Instead, I just wanted him out of the room, so I told him to stop doing the dishes and leave. And of course, he hits the computer and has yet to budge. So, is my instant mood swing here reasonable?
Part of me wants to just let this drop, because he was prolly just thinking that I was hungry and wanted him to make me something. The other part is screaming out, HELLO DOMETICATION!! and invisioning m with a club saying, YOU ARE WIFE, ARGH, WIFE MAKE DINNER. WIFE PUT UP FOOD. *insert testicle scratching here*
I have no problem doing "womanly" chores. But I have a serious issue, when those chores go unappricated. For example, when M first started to help with the dishes, he complained that he didn't want to do my chores, when he had chores of his own. I, in the drop of the hat, listed those chores for him and will do so again for you.
tick them off on your fingers with me here.
1. He does his own laundry (because he started to complain when I did it).
2. He mows the grass.
3. He helps with the dishes.
4. He helps take the dog out (at night, because I let him pick morning or evening shift).
5. Sometimes, he feeds the dog.
6. He never finishes the repairs I ask him to make, like the huge scratches in the bathroom drywall/blue board, when I want to prevent moisture damage. Even though I asked him, Is this something you can do, or do I need to call my Dad to ask for directions for me to do it.
7. He bitches that I bug him about repairs.
8. I really am trying to think of stuff he helps with.
9. Oh, last time we washed the dog he held the leash. Five to ten feet away so that he would not get wet. I washed the dog and held her collar to keep her still. I said nothing about it and thanked him for his help.
10. He fixes my computer when it breaks.
Okay, so I came up with 10 chores. Five of which I also do on top of my chore list. Two of which aren't really chores. And one that only ever gets halfway complete. So totally, he has 2.5 chores of his own. He argues that the lawn is "more" of a chores because it's harder and takes so long. So what the hell, we'll bump it to 3.5 for mowing. But in actuality, the lawn only gets mowed for part of the year and it only gets mowed like once a week at the most.
My chore list includes vaccuming, mopping, windexing, scrubbing the toilet, cleaning the litter pan, feeding the cats, doling out any medicines to the animals, PLANNING AND MAKING DINNER, and balancing our budget. So totally, I have nine chores, if you count planning and making dinner as one. Plus, those items #1, 3, 4, 5 and 9. And mine though not so physically hard as mowing the lawn, but they happen on a daily to weekly basis year round.
So pissy much? Yes. Because damn it, just because I can and do make dinner on a regular basis, doesn't mean that I have to! Do not assume that wife=instant food. I guarantee it will piss me off and you will not get any food made the rest of the week.
Oh, and I made the homebakes, but I will be damned if I'm sharing.