People's lack of ability to communicate bothers me. That being said, mine is not all that great. (Hello, does she even know about that little thing called grammar?) However, I feel that I have made leaps and bounds in my communication skills, henceforth to be known as "skillz". and for that i give myself a huge pat on the back. I realize I need help and it's something I work on daily. In fact, I've made so much progress that when I spoke to a friend I went to high scholl with recently, she gave me the best comment ever. "Jennifer, I don't mean this in a bad way, but WOW! You have really changed since high school. You used to be this crazy, arrogant, girl and now your so relaxed and easygoing." (I was high off that one for weeks people.) What is this miracle that occurred for you, you ask? I'll tell you. I read a great little book, with a huge Title, How to talk so Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk. I call it The Communication Bible. It teaches both sides of the ability: HOW TO GET A DIALOGUE GOING AND LISTENING TO THE RESPONSE. So if you haven't read it, stop now and go read it....really...I'll wait...
My bestfriend is a wonderful girl. Not only is she wonderful, but she is beautiful, loving, a fast learner and the world's best multi-tasker. I have yet seen anyone even come close to her ablility to do multiple things at once, such as her ability to drive, put on makeup, eat breakfast and call into work tell them that she's running late. She's a hard worker-she works as an accountant in an accounts receivable department at ritzy resort. Best of all she has a heart of pure gold. She's a great catch, except for one thing--
She believes in the knight in shining armor theory, well, misconception. Fortunately this is a common occurance among girls and easily remedied. The male species is aware of this misconception, but painfully lacking an indepth knowledge of the disorder. Let me expand, if you will. Girl is born into this world, Mother and Father dote apon poor child and encouraging her ego into inflating so large it rivals a newborn the killer whale by age two. The unwitting parents trick this Girl Child into believing that she is quite possibly the best female child ever in existance and that a male child would have to be other-worldly to dare love her the way she should be loved. Also see princesses such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Ariel, etc. Girl Child cultivates this line of thought for approxiamtely 25 YEARS. Meanwhile, the male child cultivates is hand and wrist movement for aprroximately the same amount of time. Is anyone seeing the problem yet? Girl child, now Woman, expects Grown Male Child to understand how he is supposed to act. Grown Male Child expects high proformance from his hand and wrist. Woman refuses to share knowledge Grown Male Child would willing accept and practice knowledge to make happy Woman during down time of hand and wrist proformances. Grown Male Child stays in ingorant bliss. Woman gets pissed off.
My best friend has had a long distance relationship for over two years. Her boyfriend is a great guy. But they have communication issues ontop of the distance. They dance around their communication disorder (see knight in shining armor misconceptiong) and get thisclose to addresssing the real problem all the time. They have several great "relationship talks" a year, when things get patched up for a while. I just wish they could see beyond the small issues, like dance lessons and phone calls, and really be able to deal with the root of the problem. I love both those stupid idiots so much, I could just throttle them.
Remedy? Get over yourself already and ask about and look from the other person's perspective enough to get a grip on where they are coming from. Next step? Develop a compromise that is acceptable to both parties. If you cannot do that get a lawyer*, they get paid to, get this...COMMUICATE! gasp!
*who's whole education probably rested on the foundation of the dubbed The Communication Bible. If hiring an attorney is your solution, it would probably be more cost effective to READ THE STINKIN' BOOK, ALREADY!!