April 18, 2006

Brown Thumb

Knitting has gone onto the back burner as the warmer nicer weather has finally arrived in Hiawassee, i.e. the middle of nowhere. Planting has taken over.

Can I grow a plant? No, but each year I kill several trying. It's hard man. There's a very fine line of watering. Too much, not enough, more drainage, less drainage, tap, bottled, etc. There's just way to many decisions involved. Animals are much easier. I can bring a dying animal back from the verge of death. (Try not to think of that as being gruesome.) Plants? Once, they begin to die, there's no bringing them back. Plants do not give second chances; they're vindictive like that.

This year I has several variety of victims. The Boss's wife, you know the one that thinks I'm sleeping with her husband, brought me in an Azalea. It's light pink, I'm sure it has a fancy name like Ballerina Slippers Blush or something, but I don't know it. It's better not to get attached to things that will die quickly. It if survives* past this season, I will have y'all help me come up with a name. Because we do not own our yarn, I potted it in a BIG planter. There is over 25 pounds of expensive dirt in there.


All the persons I have quizzed, or more precisely put through an inquisition on azalea treatment, says they do fine without much watering and not to be too fussy about them. They're hardy plants. I keep mine in fully sun, even though they are a shade plant and they are taller than I am. I never water water mine and they bloom beautifully every season. Well, every evening when I come home from work, the petals look tinged with brown and wilty. I water it and it perks right back up. Normal plant behavior? I think not. But then again, I never claimed to be good at this. It's just my luck to question every natural green thumb in this and the surrounding counties-Blasted braggarts.

My second victim is really more of a trio of victims. I had some left over exspenive dirt and I bought herb seeds. They were on sale; I thought to myself, I can try something from seed. How hard can it be to raise parsley? And on the plus side, if it fails I've only wasted a dollar and if it actually survives I'll have a great looking garnish for every meal. (I'm not gonna get cocky and think that I can actually dry the stuff for later use. That would just be dreaming!) So I purchased some lavender for the looks, some mint for the smell and some parsley for the taste.

I've stuck it in a window box as of last friday, because while my boss left early for a Good Friday sermon, therefore letting me off as well, I went lawnmower shopping and bought herbs. God will get even with me I'm sure, but more on that later. We have no growth yet, but it's only been 5 days and the directions on the back of seed packet aren't all that great. Yes, that's what I plan on blaming any failures on. Poor directions.

Third off, we have 2006's attempt at tomatoes. Last year, we had some growth on the tomato plant and even got some tomatoes off it, but encountered the-husband-who-won't-eat-tomaotes-phenomenon. Weird man who will eat most veggies,but no fruit. Tomatoes are a fruit people, lest you you forget. So, this year I've only planted one. It's a grape tomate plant. I have big hopes and dreams of grape tomato snacks all summer.


It is planted in a special planter that my mother and grandfather rave about, the earth box. I'm excited because it has a special valve, which will allowed me to neither over, nor under water assuming I water it everyday. I've been very attentive to it in the two days it's been planted people.

So hope and pray that we have great weather for the rest of the year not only for your vacations, but so that I might actually grow something. Heck, I won't even claim plant growth, but rather just plant sustaining. And speaking of vacations? how does one ensure plants don't die while your away. I will take tips and suggestions on this topic.


You'll notice I use the word "survives" instead of lives or thrives, but really this is a battle of wills. As in, WILL I kill it quickly or WILL it die off slowly?

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